I would have begun months ago, speaking with The Couple by phone and Skype until we could meet in New York. They’d be in SoHo for one of Meghan’s dress fittings. We’d connect instantly and in a day or so I would receive a formal notice from Buckingham Palace that I’ve booked the gig. I would email Meghan about how thrilled I am and right away I would share my “Anatomy of a Wedding Ceremony” with her – it’s a checklist of the order and many elements of a traditional wedding ceremony. I’d send Harry my nosey “Savoir Claire Questionnaire” because you can never get too much info from the groom. I’m sure I’d fly to London for meetings with The Couple and the Queen’s staff whenever it was convenient. They’d tell me all the rules about royal traditions, curtseying and how far we could go with a “non-traditional, non-denominational” ceremony. They all refer to this as a small wedding with just six hundred famous people. I pretend not to be overwhelmed and star-struck.
The day finally arrives. I wake up in a guest room at Windsor Castle. During breakfast with the Queen, we laugh as we hear Kate and the kids playing outside. The Queen leans out the window and reminds everyone they’re in the processional and not to get dirty. Meghan and Harry are on a double-decker bus somewhere doing first look photos. Guests begin to arrive. I can watch through a Chapel window. There’s Arnold & Maria. Lord, they go to a lot of weddings. That’s George Clooney & his family. The Bush twins arrive. That isn’t Kanye, is it? Oh Christ, yes it is with Kim, of course. I hope she keeps him quiet. Thank God Serena Williams is there. She can take Kanye out if he acts up. Oh my, there’s Justin Trudeau and his wife. And here comes the President of France. Wow. Macron’s wife really is in remarkable shape.
I’m ready to get to my starting position. Theresa, I mean the Prime Minister says I can use notes if I want, but I know this ceremony by heart. Bells begin ringing. I head to the altar and there he is: Prince Harry – looking incredibly handsome. “You look like a husband.” I stage whisper. “Thanks” he replies. “Wait til you see Meghan.” And he clutches his heart smiling. We share a laugh as the music begins. The processional proceeds perfectly with all the children tossing petals and expertly hitting their marks. The music changes. The Chapel doors open. And there she is. They really should get a photo of the Officiant’s first look at the bride. Meghan is stunning. She is ethereal. She is absolutely regal.
I begin their ceremony. They chose every word.
“Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. Electric word life. It means forever and that’s a mighty long time…”
You know the rest. They live happily ever after. I cannot wait for the real wedding: Saturday, May 19, 2018, 12 PM at St. George’s Chapel, Windsor Castle, England.